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Making Money $150 An Hour

Moe

Keep up the good work!

Much respect Sister Indigoblu! In my above reply, I stated- “I am not making excuses. However, when you identify the source of a problem, you can then eliminate the problem itself with well thought-out action.”

I completely agree with you and never disputed that indentifying the source of a problem can lead to solutions for that problem—that is no doubt. However, is it up to ME to identify and eliminate someone else’s problem(s)—do I even have the power to do so? Or is that more a personal responsibility towards self love and self improvement in one’s life, especially while in your place of work? Let’s explore this.

So you are right, these are not excuses, but reasons. Two very different things.

Excuse is defined as: to serve as justification for; to free, as from an obligation or duty.

From what you tell me, people who have bad attitudes/days (due to financial situations, personal relationships, children, and, in general, life issues) should be free of obligation because they are having a bad day/personal problem. In that case, we ALL should be free of obligation because we all have these issues, whether we are working in a high end company or McDonalds. Since when was life perfect for ANYONE?

Reason is defined as: a declaration made to explain or justify action, decision, or conviction; an underlying fact or cause that provides logical sense for a premise or occurrence.

I doubt reason has any hold on personal responsibility, particularly in this case.

Easy example: The reason why I was an hour late for work is because I (forgot to/purposely did not) set my alarm clock before going to sleep. Yes, the reason why I was late is because I didn’t set my alarm clock (whether through forgetfulness or purposely), but that does not excuse me from not showing up an hour late for work. If life worked this way, no one would ever get anything productive done and there would be no structure in the things we did complete.

When is a “reason” no longer a valid “reason” and becomes just an excuse? There has to be a limit to this. If not, I can say every thing I do that is wrong/negative is the fault of my mother, father, or anyone else for that matter, besides myself, in spite of me being an adult. When does one take personal responsibility for their own actions?

Just as you made the statement- “Overall, when I have gone into an establishment that was black owned or mostly black employed—and there have been quite a few, most of these times I was really…very disappointed…” Well, these same individuals may feel the same way about black patrons…..[ At the end of the day, people do generalize and I would hate for someone to come into contact with my or Nekisha’s businesses and expect a lower level of service since that is what they received from our brothers and sisters…]

To begin, I never stated that every black establishment I’ve gone into has given bad service and/or I was met with people who had bad attitudes. Instead, I said “overall” meaning generally, in large; my observation was based solely on personal experience and not on the assumption that because of those experiences, every black establishment the same way—this was through your own fabrication.

Furthermore, this does not stop me from entering and contributing to other black establishments, nor do I pass judgment upon entering because it is a black establishment; judgment is passed after I have received service based on what kind of service I received.

To address the latter part of the first statement, there is no logical or rational reason why, just because I am black, and came into a black owned establishment that someone should not treat me fairly or refuse to give me terrific service; my only offense is by default of being a black female: I did not in any way mistreat/belittle them, make life harder for them, ask them to do any more other than what their job requires them to do etc.

I will even liken this to a cop stopping a black man simply because he is black, not because he did anything to violate traffic rules. Is his (the cop’s) reason for stopping this man justified when the only “justification” was his blackness? I think not.

“does this give them some special right of passage to having a nasty attitude?” I guess I could ask what gives us the right to see someone that is obviously hurting and just plain “not care”? Is that moral? It is easy to just be offended and label a person as rude. It takes much more energy to try to figure out how to help them.

I’m not passing judgment on anyone; they are reflecting judgments of themselves. You must understand that although it may be nice and thoughtful for patrons to say things to make employers/employees who are having a bad day smile, or brighten their day(s), it is not, by any means, an obligation nor a reflection on anyone’s moral.

Happiness is a personal responsibility in this case. I can not hold you responsible, nor can I expect you to hold yourself responsible, for my problems or happiness/lack there of. Neither can I harp on the fact that you may have said/did something wrong to me in my work place because you are just one individual and I still have work to do. Nor would I seek “justification”, being in line with logic and balance, in my bad attitude towards another individual because they look even remotely similar to you. This is mere self discipline and objective thinking.

I have to choose my own happiness; it is personal responsibility and has nothing to do with a stranger, who I do not know and has done nothing to me by walking into my establishment or place of work—it has to do with me.

What is an obligation and job requirement, however, is that I give proper service 100% of the time to 100% of my customers regardless if some smile and/or frown at me. This is like the first and most important rule of employment in any establishment.

We all have problems, as stated before; others just have more self control and discipline. I’ve had a hard life and many others have had it worse than me and those with bad attitudes combined. However, we are not mad at the world and neither should they be—life is too beautifully divine for that, even with all it’s fallacies.

Concerning your trip, it may or may not have made them feel a little better; your interaction by smiling, joking, and acting genuinely concerned was really a nice notion. However, these are still their issues and problems and not everyone is going to open up to you and tell you all their business—even if your intentions are good. Besides this, I’ve been met with frowns and silence upon trying to make someone feel better by simply saying “hello, how are you?” or asking them something personal but harmless.

Other times, I’ve been met with gratitude or just not wanting to be rude, they say something, though it’s obvious they would rather me not have said a word, and I’m a pretty friendly individual.

I asked these questions earlier: Is it up to ME to identify and eliminate someone else’s problem(s)—do I even have the power to do so? Or is that more a personal responsibility towards self love and self improvement in one’s life, especially while in your place of work? No and Yes respectively.

The bottom line here is that success is an attitude and within that attitude one must have happiness/joy/love/self value and everyone has to find their own joy and happiness independent of other people and completely inside of themselves. You, an outsider looking in, may or may not be able to do a little bit but it will only be so much; they have to take the big step within. If they fail to find this within themselves, they will never have inner peace.

As the outspoken Mrs. Alice Walker once eloquently put it, “You have to find that quiet space within”.

So you are right, these are not excuses, but reasons. Two very different things. Just as you made the statement- “Overall, when I have gone into an establishment that was black owned or mostly black employed—and there have been quite a few, most of these times I was really…very disappointed…” Well, these same individuals may feel the same way about black patrons.

“does this give them some special right of passage to having a nasty attitude?” I guess I could ask what gives us the right to see someone that is obviously hurting and just plain “not care”? Is that moral? It is easy to just be offended and label a person as rude. It takes much more energy to try to figure out how to help them.

I went on a trip this weekend and ran into three women (two Mexican, one African American) that had less than stellar attitudes when I first came into contact with them at their workplaces (McDonalds, Dairy Queen, and a hotel). I thought back to this blog and challenged myself to look at them deep in their eyes and try to say something to make each one smile. I asked the first about her baby (she was pregnant), the second about her day. When she answered fine, but I could see that it was not, I asked “really?” with a look of concern. The last I just started joking with. Do you know that each one of these women, from that point on, went over and above in the service that they gave? Two of them even gave us unexpected freebies. What is my point? Yes, ALL BUSINESSES and employees need to give great customer service, regardless of race or sex. It is imperative to business survival. At the same time, we as people should do our part to make sure that we show others HOW to have a successful attitude.

At the end of the day, people do generalize and I would hate for someone to come into contact with my or Nekisha’s businesses and expect a lower level of service since that is what they received from our brothers and sisters…

Once again your business and it operations and operators represent you as a business owner and for African Americans / Black Businesses we have to keep our success thermostat set way above average!

Nekisha-Michelle

Let me be frank; this is not just in retail stores and restaurants where individuals employed there are making minimum wage, but they too, of course, are included.

I agree with your first point, most defiantly. However, that doesn’t give one a “free pass”, so to speak, to display such anger and frustration in the workplace—especially when one day is no different from the next; everyone knows, you leave your personal problems at home, and although we all have “bad days” that may cross over into the workplace, “bad days” should not be confused with “everyday”.

In regards to your second point, we all are dealing and struggling with our personal lives, education, finances, etc, but again does this give them some special right of passage to having a nasty attitude? Your attitude IS your fault; your attitude will make all the difference in the world on how others view you and how you feel about yourself and view yourself. Attitude is one thing, we as humans, DO have control over, unless you are bipolar, have bad anger problems, or something to that extent; there are medicines and classes available respectively.

Lastly, the third point is taken, but once again, bad experiences with white customers and black customers alike, is NOT a reflection of either race, and if one does not understand the latter, they will loose valuable business and opportunity. Progressive thinking is key.

None of these things give immunity to maintaining a professional attitude. Just like the owner of this blog states “Success is an Attitude”.

Thanks for your response.

I love this blog! You know that my core purpose is the empowerment of the African American community through entrepreneurship, so I have very strong opinions on this.

Most of my interactions with black-owned businesses are very positive. In fact, I made a list of some of my favorites on my own blog. However, I do run into the “unpolished” AA business owner from time to time.

I personally believe that the worse disease to hit the black community is the “itdontakealldat syndrome”. Good is not enough, we have to aspire to greatness. Those in service industries cannot only aim for “great service”; those individuals have to sell an experience in order to rise above competition. Think about Disney theme parks, upscale dining, and certain high-fashion salons. They charge premium because their clients are willing to pay for not just the service, but also the ambiance and FEELING that accompanies their purchase.

Addressing Sister Indigoblu, I believe that the sister may be speaking on a slightly different topic. I too have gone into department stores, fast food restaurants, etc. where a young sister’s attitude is horrible. I attribute that to the following factors.

1. Her genes/ upbringing. I have yet to meet a black woman with a terrible attitude who does not have a mother or other female family member with the same attitude. Also, social programming is an important factor. When you believe that you are inferior, you will treat others that look like you as though they are as well.

2. A feeling of helplessness. Most of the sisters that we run into in retail/ restaurant environments are dealing with serious issues involving their own lack in education, relationships and finances. How many grown women really want to make minimum wage? When you feel as though you are powerless, you do not take responsibility for your actions. Therefore, your attitude is “not your fault”.

3. Previous experience with black customers. Many African Americans get tired of the way some African Americans treat them versus their white counterparts (it works both ways). Instead of rising above the foolishness, they perpetuate it.

I am not making excuses. However, when you identify the source of a problem, you can then eliminate the problem itself with well thought-out action.

In the end, we MUST aspire to greatness (not goodness), sell experiences and always empower ourselves to be an asset to ourselves, each other and our community.